i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
