So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
