If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
