where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
