she smelled like a LAN party
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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