btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have fence marks all over my body
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
