repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
