get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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