I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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