I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
