i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
