The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
