We're like a lot better than the average bears
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
