whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
