for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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