better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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