is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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