I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
