bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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