You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
