READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
