Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
