4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize