If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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