Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
