did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
