ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
