Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
