mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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