fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize