hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
