Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
