I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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