Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
