'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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