Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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