We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
