i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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