theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
