hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
