Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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