We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize