Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
