Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
