I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
