last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
