I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
