speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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