do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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