I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
