we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize