Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I forget how to act sober
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
