yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
