Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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