Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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