So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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