my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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