never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
