drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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