I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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