my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
