I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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