Your tits are I can't wait for
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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