Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
farters have to be the big spoon...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You were trust falling into bushes
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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