And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
