pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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