he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she told me i tasted like america
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
